Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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