covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Randomize