I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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