Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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