My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
