gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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