HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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