5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We are two peas in an std pod
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
