Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I got her a Nickelback box set.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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