Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
