When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize