Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
