Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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