I wish I could teleport
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize