Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm too high and old for this...
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