I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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