i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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