I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
