Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
