someone get that fucking seahorse.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
