Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
