That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
