I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
