Pappa wants mamma naked
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize