I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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