ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My first STD was from a foam party
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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