i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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