I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
