I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
