K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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