its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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