Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
