If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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