"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
