Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
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You are the jesus of drinking
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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