she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
