dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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