hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
