I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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