You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
