Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize