he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
