He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize