when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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