Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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