Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
