I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Say something about gay babies.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.