I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
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"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
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im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.