We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.