she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
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Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
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Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.