no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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