I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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