I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
