I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
