So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
