I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
