we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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