all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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